the golden rule
we all know and love it “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” but a friend and i were discussing it and wondering if it works both ways – what’s your opinion?
so the obvious is that you should treat others in the same way as you would like to be treated. this is good. this is hard to dispute. but, if the former is true, then would that mean that you should also treat others as they treat you? because, in theory, they’re treating you the way that they want to be treated.
course then that would defeat the whole initial purpose cause then that person would think you want to be treated in the way they treat you cause you were trying to be sensitive and treat them in the way they treated you (which should be the way they want to be treated).
so maybe the golden rule doesn’t ever work at all. does anyone ever really pay attention to the way they are treated and think, “jeez, i should reciprocate this cause this must be the way they want to be treated”?
do tell…
I think many people are doing that now; hence making the world pretty damn crappy.
Kill em with kindness is what I say. Its hard to do when you know that the other person treats you with disdain and will have no qualms about it.
It’s a hard rule, but I never liked things that were easy.
It’s very relative for me. Sometimes I am so good I make the Golden Rule look bad, other times I just need to deal with things how I need to deal with them. Plus, most rules were meant to be broken, so who knows?????
I think the rule is to treat others the way you would WANT to be treated (and not the way they treat you) because we are human, and we don’t always do as we should. Treating others the way they treat us is easy, it’s gut reaction. It takes patience and practice to treat people the way we would like to be treated regardless of how they’ve treated us.
I disagree that, in theory, we are treating others the way we would want to be treated because (in theory) we are all sinners. Meaning that we do the wrong thing many times, and need “rules” like this to keep us straight.
Treating others the way they treat you lacks in compassion and loving kindness, which we should seek to give to everyone we meet. That’s not the golden rule. we shouldn’t be looking to others actions as a measure of how they want to be treated – that’s the opposite of the rule. We should be looking inside of ourselves to know how we should be treating others.
We try so hard to treat others the way we would want to be treated and find ourselves more and more disappointed when they don’t step up. Should they resent us for our “selfrighteousness”? Should we give in and treat everyone like dirt? I’m finding that the easiest solution is to just be alone….
rebecca – your kill em with kindness is probably the best theory! but you’re right – it’s just REALLY f-in hard sometimes when you feel like they’ve disregarded your feelings.
amber – you are absolutely right – aspiring to treat everyone the way you would want to be treated IS good, but sometimes it just isn’t the best medicine for the situation
heidi – yes, that is the rule! and maybe not good to interpret these things – just follow the rules and keep it simple. but i can’t help but WISH that sometimes people would take note of how i’m treating them and try to reciprocate some. i guess that makes me pretty unevolved…but i do keep trying!
wendy – (see my comment to heidi) that is exactly how i feel sometimes! it was REALLY good to talk with you on the phone the other day. it’s a hard job to keep your integrity when others see it as just being a perfectionist. it sure is easier to be alone – but it’s a lot more FUN just to surround ourselves with fabulous people who hold the same standards as we do!
thank you all for your thoughtful comments!! i guess the HARD part isn’t FOLLOWING the rule so much is it is to:
1) NOT BE DISAPPOINTED when others don’t treat you as you want/need to be treated
2) keep your integrity when those around you think you’re just being a perfectionist
3) continue to take your time and energy to treat people the way you want to be treated when they don’t seem to notice or reciprocate
I sure still have a lot of evolving to do!
Love to you all!